A fortnight later I received a follow-up automated email that “wanted to let [me] know that we’re currently processing [my] nbn order.”

Ho hum.

And then on 2 July, only a little more than four weeks after my order, I received an email saying that my NBN would be going in, in another 13 days thereafter. Hooray! I’ve been waiting for this for more than a dozen years!

I read through the email. It, for the first time, outlined the details of my order. It was the “Business Bundle Standard”, priced at $100 per month. It included my good old landline telephone number. And that, dear reader, is not the $90 per month connection I’d ordered.

Calling Telstra NBN for help

I rang the number in the email and explained the situation. I was told that a new order would have to be raised for the $90 plan. And that would push back installation. A case manager would be assigned the next day, and I could expect to hear back within five business days. My case had been “escalated” to the sales team.

Of course, I did not hear anything back within five business days. But I did hear back on the sixth business day, 11 July. The fellow was not with sales. He was chasing up whether sales had called back. I told him they hadn’t. He told me he was emailing them right then to tell them to call me. Meanwhile, he said, he was putting a hold on the order because if it went through, then later there would be interruptions to my service while it was being changed to a non-phone order.

I pointed out, firmly but civilly, that:

  1. The order I had placed was a non-phone NBN connection. The mistake was by Telstra.
  2. I did it on the very first day I was allowed to – 31 May – because I’ve been waiting for years for the NBN. I should not be penalised for Telstra’s mistake.
  3. From my point of view, Telstra is Telstra. It doesn’t matter to me that it may be composed of different parts such as a sales team and others. That this is Telstra’s fault and that my order should not be delayed because they messed up.

Alas, that was to no avail. He said he was putting my order on hold and that I could expect to hear from the sales team soon.

Hah!

It almost goes without saying that now, almost three weeks later, I have not heard from the sales team. I have not really heard from Telstra.

Oh, I did get an automated email on 11 July, “Are you ready to get connected” with certain things I’d need to do in preparation for my to-be-cancelled 15 July installation. And another on 12 July relaying “Important info to get you connected”.

Finally, on 16 July, I received another automated email confirming that my NBN order “has now been withdrawn.” Not suspended. Ended.

Oh, and yes, I’ve been sent yet another damned Telstra modem. I think that brings me up to four unused Telstra Modems.

I going to make a bold prediction here: when my order gets restarted, I reckon I’ll get yet another Telstra modem. These things can’t be cheap. I don’t want even one since I plan to use my D-Link Cobra.

And even though Telstra seems to fling modems around like confetti, it expects you to pay for them. The Business plan doesn’t lock you in. “If you leave,” says Telstra, “simply pay out your modem.”

Will I ever get Telstra NBN?

Two months ago, when I lodged my order, I was about as excited as I have ever been by a tech thing. I was looking at my Internet speeds going up by a factor of eight.